Bringing home a new baby is a beautiful moment, but for your firstborn, it can feel like their whole world has turned upside down. Many parents (us included!) quickly realise that managing two little ones isn’t just about feeding schedules and diaper changes – it’s also about navigating big emotions from our older child.
Our daughter, for example, suddenly became clingy. She wanted to be carried like a baby again, asked for bottles she had already outgrown, and even said heartbreaking things like “You don’t love me anymore.” It was tough – not just for her, but for us too.
If you’re experiencing this with your firstborn, you’re not alone. Sibling jealousy is normal, but with patience and understanding, we can help our older child feel secure and loved. Here are some ways that helped us:
1. Acknowledge Their Feelings
Instead of brushing off their emotions with “Don’t be silly” or “Of course we love you,” we started validating what she felt. Saying things like “I know it feels different now with baby around” helped her feel heard and understood.
2. Reassure Them Constantly
Even if it felt repetitive, we kept reminding her, “You are still our big girl, and we love you just as much.” Sometimes children need to hear it a hundred times before it sinks in.
3. Give Them Special Roles
We involved her in small tasks like fetching a diaper or choosing baby’s clothes. Calling her the “big sister helper” gave her a sense of importance – like she had a special job no one else could do.
4. Make One-on-One Time
Even 10–15 minutes of undivided attention each day (without the baby) made a difference. Reading her favourite book, going for a short walk, or baking together reminded her that she still had her special place with us.
5. Allow “Baby Moments”
When she wanted to act like a baby again, we didn’t scold her. Sometimes we let her snuggle in our arms or even try drinking from a bottle just to feel included. These moments usually passed quickly once she felt reassured.
6. Keep Celebrating Their Achievements
We praised her for being gentle, kind, or independent. By highlighting her “big girl” moments, she slowly began to see that growing up had its own perks.
Adjusting to a new sibling is a journey for the whole family. It can feel exhausting when your firstborn cries, clings, or acts out, but remember – they are just asking for reassurance in the only way they know how.
With love, patience, and consistency, your older child will not only adjust but eventually thrive in their new role as a big sibling. And one day, that same clingy little one may be the one proudly protecting and loving their baby brother or sister. ❤️
Till next week, parents!