When I first became a parent, I was determined to be perfect. She would always sleep by a specific time. She would eat everything that was served. She would hit every milestone right on time and excel at everything her age required. I mapped out a vision of how things should go, and I poured all my energy into making sure that vision became reality.
But somewhere along the way, I found myself filled with anger. When she resisted bedtime, refused her meal, or struggled with a task, I felt like I was failing. My frustration would bubble over, and I became an angry parent more often than I wanted to admit. It wasn’t the kind of parent I had envisioned being, and it broke my heart.
Over time, I realized that my pursuit of perfection was draining the joy out of parenting. It wasn’t just affecting me; it was affecting her too. I’d see her little face crumple when I got upset or sense her hesitation when trying something new because she feared she might fail. That’s when it hit me: what she needed wasn’t a perfect parent. She needed a present, loving, and understanding one.
Embracing Imperfection
The journey to embracing imperfection wasn’t an overnight transformation. It started with small but conscious shifts in mindset:
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Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations: I began asking myself if my expectations for her were based on her needs or my own desires to prove I was doing it “right.” It was liberating to let go of rigid rules and focus on her unique pace and personality.
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Choosing Connection Over Control: Instead of forcing her to sleep at a precise time, I began observing her cues and creating a more flexible routine, but consistent. Meals became less about finishing everything and more about enjoying the experience together.
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Redefining Success: Success wasn’t about checking boxes on a list of parenting goals. It became about building a bond where she felt safe, loved, and confident to explore the world—even when things didn’t go perfectly.
The Power of Good Enough
“Good enough” parenting doesn’t mean being lazy or indifferent. It means striving to do your best while recognizing that perfection isn’t attainable or necessary.
Here are some ways I’ve embraced being a “good enough” parent:
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Apologizing and Repairing: On days when I still lose my temper, I’ve learned to apologize to her. It shows her that everyone makes mistakes and that relationships can be mended with honesty and love.
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Celebrating Small Wins: I’ve learned to appreciate the little moments of connection and joy, like laughing together over a silly joke or snuggling during bedtime stories.
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Prioritizing Self-Care: I’ve discovered that taking care of myself helps me stay patient and present. Whether it’s a short walk, a favorite book, or just a few deep breaths, these small acts make a big difference.
Lessons for Life
By embracing imperfection, I’ve not only become a calmer and happier parent, but I’ve also given her an important gift. She’s learning that it’s okay to make mistakes, to try again, and to love herself just as she is. When I model self-compassion, she’s more likely to practice it too.
Parenting isn’t about ticking off achievements or fitting into an ideal mold. It’s about showing up with love, even when things are messy. And as I’ve learned, good enough truly is great.
Till then, parents! See you next year!